how to feel at home, without a home...

i HATE decisions.

i'm so bad at them, maybe it's because i'm a libra, i don't know, but all of life's decisions i find to be too hard. i'm terrified of going down the wrong path, and whenever i do, it haunts me with guilt forever afterwards for making the wrong choice. it never stops me from moving forward, but i wish i didn't worry so much about it all.

since adam's visa/deportation scare, we have been thinking more about what we want out of our life together, just in the near future, nothing big or scary - more like, within the next couple of years. we decided that we should probably find somewhere to live that is just the two of us. we really love living with friends, it's great, but everyone else is making plans to move eventually, and we figure we probably should too.

now being faced with that decision is not just about "where should we live", it's about "how will our next move impact on our future plans...?". for example, should we be looking to live somewhere cheap/horrible to save money to buy a house? do we want to buy a house in london? england? probably not, so if not here then where? canada? no thanks! so what then...? i don't know!!!!

and then i get stressed and start to worry, about everything! how will our potential-as-of-yet-undetermined move affect our friends, flatmates, family? what if we want to get a cat, or dog? where will i put my car? will my car be happy?... what?!


so, i thought, maybe it would be a good idea to think about what i want in a home, and what is actually feasible. what can we afford, what kind of space makes us happy? now, i have a pinterest board dedicated to homes i love for just this purpose. the only trouble is, the approach i take to my pinning process is 'dream big' - and my choice of homes and interiors definitely represents this philosophy.

beautiful, but definitly not possible.

where in london can you rent that would have white walls, that are still white after being painted 110 years ago and have seen about 112 tenants come and go.

ummm. no.

getting warmer...but the wood walls and flooring aren't going to happen, let's be honest.

not helpful, freya!

where will we end up, i wonder...