Life Lately - Melancholy and Separation Anxiety

I thought it was about time I did a life update here, it's been too long. With everything happening these days I think it’s easy to believe my life as been all travel and Instagram opportunities. Obviously it’s not all that, but life is what you make of it amongst the general every day stuff of wishing for more sleep and trying to motivate myself to get some exercise. 

And my life is always changing. Plans, thoughts and the way I’m handling it is always changing. Life lately from one day to the next is never the same. One minute everything is coming together, so much is happening and I feel like I’m moving forward. The next minute the dust has settled and I’m wondering - now what?

I’m powering this engine myself and my coal shoveling is inconsistent. It’s not like I don’t have the will or the drive, but sometimes I just don’t know what to do next – you know? We rarely take a moment to recognise that periods of melancholic indecision and even boredom happen. It's part of the process - she tells herself...

So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how sometimes you just have to let life happen to you. And I’ve also been thinking about how all the self-help and motivational hand drawn pins out there do nothing to address the fact that sometimes life is just a temporary, directionless drift. 



There’s a very prominent “take what comes” attitude prevailing here in London at the moment, it’s settling on the country like a dark cloud along with the appropriately damp and cold weather. There’s a mixed feeling of “oh what have we done”, “finally we’re free” and a resounding “what the hell next?”.

Frankly it scares me. I’m afraid of the rising tide of racism since the leave vote was announced, I’m afraid to now realise our government has zero contingency plans, I’m afraid of what a future for a Europe not united looks like – from within and without. I recognise that much of this entire campaign has been about fear, and it’s working. 

But the things that I do know are: better together has always been an unequivocal truth when it comes to a people united. Hate, racism and xenophobia has no place in a progressive country’s future – but it exists within our people and it’s important that we consider its cause before stamping it out, because I suspect its roots run deep. And moving forward I don’t think any amount of separation can stop me personally feeling like a citizen of Europe, and the world. I will always see pieces of myself in others, no matter how different our cultures, values or believes may be. 

We are all connected in our humanity, like it or not, we are all in this together. Personally I find great comfort in that.